What If
by peaceharmony
Summary: a song fic using the song 'What If' by Kate Winslet. Slight spoiler if you have never read TSFT. Disclaimer inside.


**A/N: This song is "What If" By Kate Winslet. This was a random idea that just popped into my head that I had to right down before I forgot.**

**I own neither the song or the books and characters by Libba Bray.**

**While reading this, go onto You Tube, (which I also don't own) and look up Kate Winslet. The song is What If.**

**Kate Winslet is the woman who played Rose on the movie 'Titanic' for people who might not know.  
**

**Bold and underlined ** song lyrics

'_apostrophized and italicized' _Gemma's thoughts

* * *

**  
Here I stand alone  
With this weight upon my heart  
And it will not go away**

"_Kartik, why did you do that? You just had to sacrifice yourself for me. How did you expect me to react to that?_

**In my head I keep on looking back  
Right back to the start  
Wondering what it was that made you change**

'_When did you even start caring enough to do something like that? When I first met you, you thought I was an annoying stubborn girl, who was just getting in the way of what you wanted: To fully join the Rakshana._

**Well I tried  
But I had to draw the line  
And still this question keeps on spinning in my mind**

'_All those kisses, only to be followed by hurtful words that neither of us meant. All because of society, and me being afraid of what would happen if someone found out.'_

**What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time  
But I guess we'll never know**

'_If only I hadn't let you do that. If only I had put up a fight, or you had tried to listen. Then you might still be here._

**Many roads to take  
Some to joy  
Some to heart-ache  
Anyone can lose their way**

'_how lost I was until you came along. I knew nothing about what was happening, and yet you knew almost everything. And still I didn't trust you._

**And if I said that we could turn it back  
Right back to the start  
Would you take the chance and make the change**

'_If we could turn back time, we would find a way to defeat the tree before all this had happened. But would you have come around sooner? Would you think about killing me when the Rakshana asked you too? Or stay away from me when Ms. McCleethy had a hold over you? Would you do all that the same?_

**Do you think how it would have been sometimes  
Do you pray that I'd never left your side**

"_What if I had let the tree take me too? Then we could have been together without the rules of society, without limits. I would have always been at your side.'_

**What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know**

'_Would you stay the same if all this had never happened? Would you have left after you had no more obligation to me anymore?'_

**If I'd stayed**

'_If only I had stayed with you._

**If you'd tried**

'_If only you had tried to let me help.'_

**If we could only turn back time  
**

**But I guess we'll never know  
**

'_Why does time have to be such a fickle thing? One we have no control over?'_

**If only we could turn the hands of time  
If I could take you back would you still be mine**

'_The realms magic. What if they let me turn back time. But what would it change? Would you still be mine?'_

**'Cause I tried  
But I had to draw the line**

'_If only society didn't scorn what we had. If only I hadn't cared what they thought.'_

**And still this question keep on spinning in my mind**

**What if I had never let you go  
Would you be the man I used to know  
What if I had never walked away  
'Cause I still love you more than I can say**

'_If only I had stayed and shown you that I loved more then I could put into words.'_

**If I'd stayed  
If you'd tried  
If we could only turn back time**

_'All I am getting from these thought are 'what if's' nothing is going to change, but I can't help but wonder what would have happened if things had been different'_

**But I guess we'll never know**

'_But Kartik, no matter what you might have thought, I will not move on. I WILL always love you'_

**We'll never know  
**

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**  
A/N: Hope you enjoyed it. Review please.  
**


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